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Friday, May 29, 2009

The Essence of Quality

I was involved in a conversation with a few buddies recently, when the dialog changed from professional sports to topics about our kids and the upcoming summer break. One of the guys was divorced and was going on and on about all the times he frequently visits with his daughter. My initial internal thoughts were wow!!, what a great dad.

We all kind of alternated and shared what we actually do with are kids during these precious and opportune times. The divorced dad, stated that, because he works a lot of hours, he usually takes his kid to the office and just lets them hang out with the office clan and sometimes they even get to sit in with him, through a meeting or two. The other dads talked about, time at the park, beach, zoo, etc.

All of us, honestly felt strong about what we've demonstrated to be great dads, and thank goodness we fought the temptation to be openly judgmental of each other. After all, we are buds, right? But, through it all, we collectively agreed that we were great when it came to 'Quantity" time, but we obviously could improve and focus more on "Quality" time.

Webster says there is a difference between the two words, and who am I to argue with the man; the myth; the legend, Mr. Dictionary.

Since I'm no expert, I will offer this.

Its essential, that we all spend valuable time with those we love and care about. Sometimes its not so much the length of time that's important. Perhaps that special someone is specifically in need of your undivided attention, or maybe the need is to just make eye contact, or offer a reassuring smile. In other words, an acknowledgement from you of them.

Sometimes, we're not asked or required to physically fix a problem, but perhaps we're simply needed to just listen to a situation or thought.

Have you ever wondered why God gave us all, two ears and one mouth... ummm. In other words, more listening and less talking. Try it sometimes, just know that, it does take work!!

There is a discipline known as "ACTIVE" listening, below are 4 of them.

1. You have to avoid and eliminate all BIASES

2. Then HEAR literally

3. So that you can INTERPRET accurately

4. and finally, ACT appropriately

Now go out, give of yourself and share some QUALITY time!

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