A few days ago while dining out and waiting for the server to take my order, I became infatuated with all the noise and chattering going on around me. As I subconsciously summoned the fine tuning knob of my audio and visual skill levels, it somehow managed to exclude all the single party customers in the room. Of course that left me with only the couples, which was not a bad thing because, there were couples of all sizes, shapes, and cultural backgrounds. I saw couples who were talking so much, they were actually flapping their lips at the same time. Then there were some who merely just stared at each other; some who held hands; some old and some young; some who laughed together and even some who actually ignored each other. Either way it was a rather interesting event to observe.
In Contrast, I'm sure there had to be some other bright intelligent observer(s) in the room who were also caught up in conducting their own people watching experiment, but only focusing on the single parties, which of course would include yours truly.
So what is the glue that will hold it all together? How does one stay true to the other over time?
Yes, the obvious answer is LOVE. But, is there something more?
Lots of people I know, have offered a universe full of thoughts and prescriptions for staying together through thick and thin or the ultimate.. until death do us part.
Suddenly, the waitress appeared and broke my trance like state of mind. I shared with her my vision and we agreed on the following:
Couples have to see their lives together ultimately from a long range perspective. Starting and applying the same skills you would when planning objectives and setting goals. For example, setting mini; maxi goals ect.
In comparison, remember what it was like the first time you started dating....
The short answer is those dates were absolutely INCREDIBLE!!
Later at some point you started seeing yourselves as husbands and wives. Then finally came the visions of having kids and making the union a family.
Enter problem numeral UNO.....
By that I mean, should you Forget, drop or forsake these lovely principles, by excluding them out of the equation, the results could become a life-changing mistake.
My advise from the onset is to NEVER stop dating each other. If its humanly possible, keep planning and having those date nights/weekends etc.
WARNING: Discontinuation of the below could be hazardous to your overall relationship's health (physically, morally, spiritually and financially).
1st. Be a LOVER
2nd. Be a WIFE/HUSBAND
3rd. Be a FATHER/MOTHER
I think each one of your points should be a commandment. And I agree with you 100%!! Both parties have to want the same things and be on the same page always. Not lose sight on what once drew them together and why they continue to stay together. Daddy, me and Aaron will take your wisdom with us on my journey into marriage. :)ReplyDelete