Will I Ever Learn

Ruff, Rufff!!! ahh, I mean hello.  My name is Jack, and although you're accustomed to hearing from my family member, I thought and heard about this thing you humans call change. Soooo, for this particular post...here comes change and you're going to love it, because if you haven't heard, my bite per square inch of power is AWESOME! Just kidding.

The photo above is one of me when I was just a wee lil pup. You see 3 and a half years ago, I was sitting all alone starring out and doing a little people watching, when this couple stopped by and gave me the warmest smile of my puppy life.  I became so overwhelmed by their exhibited non verbal skills, that my tail wagged so hard I was literally being thrown all over the place. Suddenly, I began to feel rather silly and desperately tried to control my emotions, but it was to late. That's when it happen, time seemed to slow down and the attendant's speech began to drag and slur. As she slowly approached my gate lock, and attemped to open it, her fingers seem to lose it's way. I tried to help but to no avail.  Finally, the lock gave way and I was in the arms of the lady with the pretty eyes and great smile.  We couldn't help but be a match, because after all, I picked her.

She introduced me to her partner.  He's the guy you're more familiar with and who by the way, is still trying to figure out how I managed to get into his head and write this post. But desperate times require, desperate measures.  Besides its his fault for allowing me to watch tv. I particularly like Jerry Springer and that guy who yells, "You are NOT the father", ... Ha, ha.... . Of course, my favorite is show is watching "Brian", from Family Guy.

Ok, back to my plight.

I need your help in order to find out does anyone else out there, who try with all their might to just be friendly..., get hammered when you kiss a frog?  Ummm, and if you don't, then why, Oh why sweet Jesus, is it always me?

Here's what I know.

The practice of  "toad-licking" has evolved into an urban legend, in that the venom secreted through the skin of some toads cause hallucinations. Which is why I think, I'm a contributing author of this blog post.

See what I mean?

Anyway, the venom is highly toxic to pets. Take for instance, my other friends and family members (dogs), are most likely to come in contact with a toad, and have a high probability of dying if untreated.

I quess, I should leave that curiousity thing to cats.

The Colorado River toad and the other giant toad, known as the Marine toad are the two most common venomous toads found in the U.S.  Of course this guy wouldn't win any beauty awards like yours truly, because he's all covered with warts. UGGGH!

I also found out that I don't necessarily have to lick or God forbid eat a toad, to be poisoned.  There have been cases where frogs have been attracted to a dogs water dish and just because it was unattended, they sat along the rim, leaving enough toxin to make you sick.  It's actual difficult to find the presence of  the toxin.  You technically have to see it happen, but if you're suspcious...

Here's what to look for:

If your four legged family member has ingested enough toxin, they may have an irregular heartbeat and may start acting strangely, as if they are locked in the grip of a hallucination. Call your veterinarian if you observe:

*Mouth irritation with foamy salivation
*Depression
*Weakness
*Collapse
*Difficulity breathing
*Seizures
*Fever
Vomiting
*Diarrhea

Well, I patiently await your reply to let me know if it's just me, because just the other day, I was in the back yard minding my own business, when suddenly there he was, gazing at me with those huge bulging eyes. I tried to just walk away, but I was trapped in their stare. That's when it happen, I heard that ribbb--it call and I... ok, I licked it. YUKK!!,  not again... "Will I Ever Learn"?

*Data collected from http://www.petplace.com/    

NOBODY KNOWS...

I believe that everyone would and should agree that 'Life is Good". Of course there are times when it seems as though, we are actually experiencing "Hell right here on earth" conditions.  As well as things could go for us from day to day, life really can throw an unexpected curveball.  Yes, life is good, but its also very short. Have you ever heard the expression,  "Here today and gone today". That's why its so imperitive that those among us who have difficulty sharing ourselves totally and honestly with our love ones on a daily basis, need to make a change.

How many times have you heard about people who've passed away and their family members never had any idea that thay were secretly suffering terminally.  The aftermath of this experience can be so devestating, especially in the case of a failed or missed opportunity to express love to each other.

Then there are those who love the people in there lives so hard, it borders on obsession, but sadly some of these may have partners who find it difficult to reciprocate.

Interestingly, I've heard it through the grapevine, that some individuals would give anything to have their special someone say that they loved them.  "Why couldn't they just tell me"?

Today, millions of people were blessed to see the morning's sunrise. They were blessed to have the shelter of comfort and security surround them; they were blessed to have food on the table and the means to provide for a better and brighter tomorrow.  Yet, for the millions I speak of, there were millions today who failed to tell those special someones within and outside of their households, the three most powerful words any tongue or mouth could utter...."I LOVE YOU".

Sadly, some or all of those millions will not return home this very day.

This is not a message of doom and gloom, nor should it be mistaken for one.  The message is simply a reminder...another opportunity, if we're lucky.

If we ignore the signs, the results could be a resounding chorus of, "I wish, I shoulda, coulda", but then again, "If you did love me...... NOBODY KNOWS"!

I SAW WHAT YOU DID

Ever wondered as you were growing up, whether you would get caught do the unthinkable?  I use to think that my mom had eyes in the back of her head.  After all, I just knew I had planned everything correctly and covered all the bases,  Right?... but if thats the case, then why was I in trouble; she's pissed and yelling at me, and why dId I get the feeling that I was about to meet my maker?..  BUSTED AGAIN!

Well, as time passed and I grew older and a little wiser. I've come to understand that nothing really occurs and then goes unseen. It does not matter whether its done indoors, outdoors or behind doors, sooner or later it will be seen, heard, or talked about and ultimately exposed to all.

The reality of it all, is everyone of us should make decisions based on the fact that our lives are like that of the "fish in a bowl".  Everything said or done is never a secret, but just simply transparent.

If you're still doubting or think I'm blowing smoke, let's together look at a few examples of people or circumstances that have occured. Especially, the ones that nobody was supposed to find out about.

I can recall a particular situation (prior to my retirement), involving some of my coworkers, who normally performed their duties with nothing less than professionalism. Yet, on one particular shift under the "cloak of darkness", a motorist was stopped and instead of a possible warning; citation issuance etc., it resulted in a beating, injuries, death, lies, falsification of official documents, civil unrest, resulting in a costly riot.

Perhaps there's this person you know who always never gets in trouble or causes trouble, then for reasons known only to them, they decide that its easier today, to just take a few items that in their mind, nobody will miss, know about or even care about.  Of course, they probably would have been successful, had it not been for the store's hidden video camera... Darn it, hate when that happens!!!

To some people, thinking about and or committing the limitless list of unthinkables, is very adventuresous or just a mere game of cat and mouse.  To others, it an all out attack on their enlarged ego that says, "I can do anything I want and you can't stop me or catch me if you can".  Either way, with every choice there's always consequences. Some are unforgiving as well as irreversible.

The forever exisiting and all seeing eye phenomina is a huge reality. It sees those who sit high and those who sit low. 

I'm surely not blameless; pointing my finger at or attempting to justifiably sit in a position of judgement or anything like that. God knows I surely have a few skeletons in my own closet, but.... "I'M JUST SAYING"        

Oops... Did I Do That?

It seems funny and somewhat puzzling to me, but  when ever I decide on a task, that's deemed important enough for me to do, my family members tell me that I act as though, I'm possessed my some ridiculous spell or some evil demonic creature.  Of course, I tend to disagree with their assessment, because I would call my driven and unrelenting state of mind, as simply being focused. 

I'm not sure why, but its just that whenever I'm undertaking any project, it immediately falls under my personal book of  rules. Rules like this one, which is found in, volume18, chapter 28, verse 17, which states, " Since its my project, I can do it however and whenever I say so".  

Right??? 

Well since you've decided to take the 5th, I'll take your silence as a yes and that you also agree, that I'm right! 

Anyway, today it all started after an incredible breakfast and two cups of caffeine, or maybe it was three.  I walked into our home office and started up the computer. While waiting for the startup, I heard this screeching voice way in the distant downstairs, yelling something about a problem they encountered earlier with the computer.

I did not reply or ask them for clarification, because this would have distracted me from the mission unfolding right in front of me.

Great, no problems encountered with the startup.

The mission I accepted, was to install a new piece of  hardware, which would allow me to project any image from the computer to an external monitor. So, as I'm following along with the provided directions, it says to tap on the FN 8 key.

Sounds easy and no real big deal.... right??

Then why, oh why,  has my entire screen turned blueeeeee..... What the heck is or has gone wrong, and why, oh why, are there multiple error messages everywhere?

The next frantic words out of my mouth was, Oh No... Did I Do That???

As if that wasn't enough punishment. Do you remember, the screeching voice I told you about earlier? Well now she was standing behind me, screeching again and again, while giving me an unsolicited answer, to the question that I thought, I had uttered in total secrecy.  She boldly  stated, "Yes, you did do that and thank GOD, it wasn't me, and you know what else, I think you fried the hard drive too! I told you that you should have waited on the repairman".

Uggh!!!!

Turns out that, instead of tapping the Fn 8 key, I...., I hate to say it, but I.... well, I mistakenly tapped on the Ctrl (control) and #8 key... continuosly. So there,  I confess.

Here's the moral of the story and what I have learned.

If only I had remembered to look in the front portion of my rule book, under, Chapter 1, sectiion 1, verse 1; which states: "Anything worth doing, is worth doing right, the first time".

Oh and by the way, in addition to the above rule, with an astrix attached to it, is this one; Hope you remember the next time,  you knuckle head that..., Haste makes Waste!!  


  

What you really mean is.....

Ever wonder why sometimes, after talking with someone, you end up saying to yourself... ummm, I have no clue as to what they really meant by that comment. Its not just happening to you, because it happens to all of us at one time or another. Lets together travel back a little bit in visual time... (drum roll please).

On the floor jumping around, barking and running back and forth toward the front door is our Jack Russell terrier. To my visiting guest at the house, he is just acting weird or excited and just wanted to play. Of course, as this all plays out in mind, my dog is remembering that time to him is becoming a major priority. I had several options available to me, one being to ignore the true signals flashing in front of me or listen to my uninformed guest. My friends are now laughing out loud and saying, "wow what a cute dog, what energy that breed has." I can now see that my dog has lost is humorous side and has this clear expression on his face that says, "You idiot, if only I had the time, I'd show you energy". Anyway, because I have learned through past experience, that this behavior being displayed means something totally different from that of my guest, I immediately took the correct and appropriate action and let man's best friend do his thing.





Now let's travel to say, your favorite mall, and suddenly you realize that there's some new construction to the roadway and to some of the buildings within the mall parking lot going on. Just up a head is a uniformed police officer directing traffic around the construction site, but for some reason the traffic flow has stopped. You are close enough to hear an elderly couple asking the officer for directions to the mall. Of course you find this somewhat strange because they are actually in and at the mall. As the conversation continues, the officer who is now standing erect, and pointing upward, adjusts his dark mirrored colored sunglasses and replies to her question in a firm voice saying, "Lady, can you read the sign!!" The woman is now so upset and panicky, that she tells the officer's supervisor that she was disrespected, yelled at and called stupid, blind, old and the list goes on and on. Although you never heard the officer used those terms, its conceivable that from her perspective all those things actually occurred.


Finally, I'm sure this has never happen...right?

You're home having an incredible day off and spending some time with your significant other. There's time spent laughing about the weeks craziness, and the interesting things on the tv. Your significant other, states that suddenly she's bored and wants to go shopping and further more wants you to give up the couch and tv and accompany her to the stores. You pause, take a deep breath and image feeling the despair and burning sensation rumbling around in the pit of your gut. Then you see yourself, going from peace and tranquility to noise, traffic, people, walking from store to store and more noise, awwwww!! S0, you stand up, look her straight in the eyes, and with a pointing finger, you say, "Look, I love you very much and I'm willing to do that, but not today, now tell me you're listening and you love me too and that you understand?"

Her response is pictured above.

In all of these cases there is obviously a teachable moment. Communication whether spoken or not has meaning. The hardest part may lie in our recognition of how we deal with what we personally interpret as a true meaning. Each and every word we utter has a meaning. Sometimes people don't or can't always filter through their own issues i.e. drugs; anxiety; fear, etc., at the time to adequately decode our message to them. It's YOUR responsibility to ensure they properly understand the message.

On the other hand, if you're the receiver of the message, try paraphrasing back the message you've received. Perhaps saying, " So what I understand you to mean is..". This is just one of the many resolutions to avoid a total misunderstanding. The next element to making the conversation positive is to learn how to RESPOND to a statement verses REACTING to it. Trust me there is a distinct difference, because YOUR delivery style does matters.

From the receivers perspective:

The majority of conversation taken in is in the TONE;

Next, OTHER NON-VERBALS, are taken in at a high percent;

Lastly, the remaining and least values are placed on CONTENT

Ensure that all your verbals and non-verbals match and remember...

Always leave a person feeling better than when you first encountered them.

Can We TALK?

HELLO....

There are times, when I wonder why and what is causing that burned out feeling, I sometimes get between my ears, as if my brain is screaming "ugh!, I'm FRIED!!" If this sounds familiar, then I'm happy to know that it's not just me.

A few days ago, someone very close to me suggested that I needed to catch up with the rest of the world, especially when it comes to communications. At first, I wanted to react vs respond to their statement. I said its their opinion; it's just an observation; after all everyone has one of these and they are, well... entitled to it.

NO way, I said to myself. I'm a great communicator, ask... never mind, calm down. I took a deep breath and realized that I had misunderstood their meaning. Oops!

It was not my communication skills they referred to, but the method and or types of communication I was utilizing day to day. Duhhhhh!

Think about it, we've come a long, long way since the beginning.

For instance:

There was the thundering voice of God. He spoke, man listened (just that simple). Remember the bird and the olive leaf; How about those numerous numbers of disciples who traveled to different part of the land, way back then; Some how drums got in the mix, and who could ever forget about the time when smoke signals was the game of the day; I'm not sure, but the US mail got in the act at sometime too; then we started using vibrations from a string tied between two cans, (that must have been fun, especially since the parties were standing right next to each other).

Then as people got smarter (go figure that), the telegraph and the telephone, then pagers, computers and then.... EUREKA, we exploded and out did ourselves with the Internet.

Whew!!

There's more because cellphones, email, texting, instant messaging, my Space, Facebook and its cousin Plaxo showed up, and then finally twitter ( I thought this was the return of the bird).

If you're still wondering what the heck I'm talking about and why is my brain FRYING, I'll let you in on a little secret.

You see, I personally have been around long enough to have used a whole lot of these communicators, but I'm NOT telling you which ones.

Its for me to know and for you to find out.

Have fun.

Still Sparkling

Last night, we were invited guest to one of the most amazing events that will stay with me for a very very long time. Actually, I probably should give more expressive power to a word, I used in the previous sentence. For you see my friends, it was not just any old "event". The experience was more than that. The experience last night was more reflective of a term I believe, would be more defined, to me as a 'Life Changing" event.

Last night, an incredible couple, who's first names are Happy and Elyse, celebrated 30 years of marriage to each other. Some might say, "that's nice" or "Really" or "WOW!", but even those terms won't give justice to the heart felt feelings of LOVE, that permeated that romantic and elegantly decorated banquet hall.

I have only known this couple for a short time. Although, I must admit that I would have loved the opportunity to have known them sooner. They are a very loving couple, who observably are very wealthy in the respect that, they are not over concerned with placing the focus or spotlight on themselves alone. I believe they are in touch with what it means to share. Its very apparent that they are deeply focused and immersed in the fact that they truly love each other unconditionally. Then they take it a step further and they spread their magical wealth to all of the members of their family, as well as their friends too.

Obviously, they deserve and should be commended for these attributes, because it's also vividly displayed in the personalities and actions of their children as well. When people use the expression, "The nut doesn't fall far from the tree". I see and understand exactly what that expression means, especially when you watch their children interact with people around them. I guess we can agree that, being a good example, really does pay off.

I first met Happy and Elyse, through two of my family members, Cheryle and Barclay, who rarely if ever, hosts a social gathering at their home without them being in attendance. Thank You, guys.

Personally, I'd like to think of myself as just a person who loves people. Although, my friends have sometimes classified me as a social butterfly. All of these statements are true and are definitely rooted in my passion, to just observe other people being themselves. I love watching the interaction between others and the methods they use, whether its verbal or non verbal. I especially focus in on the techniques they use when problem solving, or how they seem to navigate when filtering through some of the challenges faced in this life. So it would be factual to say, that last night I was very much in my comfort zone, observing this wonderful couple.

A RELATIONSHIP is defined as an emotional connection and mutual dealings between people; PASSION is defined as having an intense emotion for..; and LOVE is defined as having a strong positive emotion for.., so if I had the pleasure of rewriting the dictionary, I would appropriately place a picture of Happy and Elyse right next to these words. PERIOD!!

This life has so many snares, twist and turns, its amazing to me they are still very much in LOVE and even still TOGETHER. There are so many ungrateful people around us, who take all of life blessings for granted. Those are the people who have accepted the term "fall" in Love, without gaining its full meaning. Their expressed Love for each one another is sometimes regrettably surface oriented, which will never stand the test of time. I'm not an expert or the Love Doctor on this topic, but it seems to me if examined closely, it stands to reason why so many who "fall" in Love, can easily "fall" out of Love. I believe it takes much more than just "falling", it takes one to GROW in Love. I think this is exhibited in the marital life of this special couple and what they've accomplished together.

If you asked them, they would probably tell you that they've spent their efforts; commitment; and joy together in the JOURNEY and not just in the mere DESTINATION. They didn't quit.

So many people today give up as fast as they begin. In other words, they quit at any and everything they do. They quit their jobs, their relationships, and some even quit on themselves. They want it right now, and they could care less about earning it. Many people start, but few people finish.

I know Happy and Elyse are not perfect people, nor would they have you to believe that they are either. So... If any of you, are fortunate enough to have family; friends or acquaintances, who resemble this couple in anyway, please be very very thankful for this God sent blessing, and then I suggest you begin to enrich your own relationships with one another, by merely sitting back and observing their commitment to unconditional LOVE.

Congratulations!! Happy and Elyse

Honey Do Lists

I don't know about you, but just in case you've never had the privilege of having countless numbers of domestic tasks, assigned to you by your spouse or significant other, stick around you could be next. It's not as though, I really lay around all day on the couch, flicking the remote, but it's something that I'm seriously going to look into very, very soon.

This was supposed to be one of those take it easy and chill out days... NOT!!

My youngest daughter is out of school for the summer, so we started our day together going out to eat breakfast, at one of her favorite Cuban restaurant. We were engaged in heavenly daddy/daughter talk, which covered various topics concerning her and the past school year. We were really having a great time. As our conversation turned to discusssing her participation, in this years basketball season, my previously scheduled iPhone reminder began to ring. Of course, I decided to ignore it, because if you've read a few of my previous blog post, you know that I'm on a serious mission to improve and eliminate my 'Quantity" time spent with the family and replace it with more 'Quality" time.

Thirty minutes rapidly went by, and guess what? That darn thing started up again. Ringgggg!! Oh God, now what? Well, angrily my daughter and the people sitting near us began to visually let me know, that the noise coming from the gadget on my hip, was beginning to get on their nerves. I would have reciprocated with a stare down of my own, but I remembered that I was the genius who had set the phone for multiple alert notifications. DUH..

If that wasn't enough, my lovely and task oriented wife, began to call also. I know what you're thinking, and you're right, I obediently answered and she began to remind me of all the things she wanted me to get done. Things like, how wonderful it would be for me to volunteer, yes she said, "volunteer".... to fix dinner. It wasn't that big of a deal, except that it requires me to proceed to the nearest Publix and then pace up and down the different aisles, and then eventually, fill up the cart with more items than I was requested to get.

What's great, is that once you're done and ready to leave the store, there are generally at least 6 or more checkout lanes. Yeah!

Hold it, you've got to be kidding me; of the 6 or more available lanes, there is only 2 that are open, and the one that says EXPRESS, has a line long enough to hang you. Next on my 'honey do" list was the cleaners; Walgreen's; the GMC dealership; and finally the bank.

I have discovered a new passion. A passion strong enough to motivate me to seek an assignment (part-time, of course), within the county's CSI unit and come up with a sophisticated counter system; or formula; or a prescription or a simple antidote, that can be utilized by victims like myself, that will cure and fight mightily against these types of afflictions.

I don't know if it will work, because I have not developed it yet. But, when I do and I test my new theory, I can probably guarantee you that, it will definitely create some interesting dialog, if you know what I mean.