Fishing for... LOVE

Growing up in Miami for me was great. Perhaps if you were like me, you had everything imaginable and available around you to keep you amused. As the years came and went, I started to wonder what it would be like to have a relationship of my very own and most importantly, what the heck was a "relationship" and then, how to accomplish or get one.

I began to closely observe the personal relationalship behavior of my parents which was slow paced and to me, not very exciting to watch as far as I was concerned. Don't get me wrong or become perplexed about my reality, its just that I was only about age 7 then.  Now, I don't know about you, but seeing my parents kissing was like..... auggh!

Thank you God, that I was blessed with not one, but two older brothers who, unbeknown to them, were instrumental in, lets just say uh.. they opened my eyes.  I was watching every move, stance and gesture they made.  I even went as far as to memorize their special brew or blend of how to 'RAP'. Ha, Ha, Ha!!. I had no clue of what I was saying or what it all meant, but when I opened my mouth and uttered the words, it sounded smooooooth. So, fake it if you must, but look good doing it.  Either way, through the magic of trial and error, I like many other inspiting "Don Juan's",  sometimes got it right.

I am by no means an expert of this topic but, if you've found yourself in what I call a relationship disaster, better known as an absolute NIGHTMARE that just won't go away, then its possible that some or all of the blame starts with the man in the mirror.

Sometimes when we think of starting a relationship, we fail to seek out or simply do not care about gaining any real understanding of its true meaning.

Webster says a relationship is a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection).  Its a state involving mutual dealings between them. (making all parties accountable)

There is one group of individuals that just drive me nuts. These relationship geniuses are of the ever present, fast paced, pain in the butt group of people who blantantly start relationships based on, "I'm with you only for the moment or until I get bored with you or simply my dear,What have you done for me lately".

Trust me, they're out there, everywhere, at work, school, the mall, the movies, your favorite restaurant, at church and even in your cell phone's contact list.

Scary isn't it.

What's even scarier, is that there are some who know this is a bad deal and instead of running away as fast as they can, they get involved or settle for this form of punishment, in spite of the reality. Perhaps the vilian within is a lack of self esteem, or some form of co-dependency, which without indepth examination can sometimes create an illussion of looking like the real thing thats being search for...,True Love.

Think back and remember the last time you were out and was just minding your own business, when suddenly you glanced up and met the attractive and pleasing eyes of another. Your inner voice tells you to ignore it and move on, but that other inner voice shouts louder and makes you take a second look only this time you smile or wriggle your nose or even send a wink. Then suddenly, in the next breath your brain turns to mush and you can't speak or articulate and you're left with the abnormal ability to immediately resort to acronyms like .... OMG!!! or just... OOOOOH. Your entire body language is focused and sending strong impulsing messages of "Yeah baby, I'm the one, so lets get it on"!

OK, Calm down, you can stop now..., it was only an illusion.

So was it fate, or chance that you met? Or should I ask myself..., did you pick them or did they pick you?

I would suggest that we all spend the time needed to acquire long and lasting relationships built on common sense values. Such as, do I need or do I merely just want a relationship?

As the the picture above may indicate... He or She are exactly who they are. You can't change them, nor should you seek to. Plain and simply my friends.. It is what it is and they are who you thought they were.

Perhaps if your luck continues to run out and you're tired of falling in love, when the true goal needed to be, growing in love. Consider this the next time, you cast a line in the sea of romance to hook... "the one".

Maybe, just maybe its a real good time to also practice, "CATCH and RELEASE"!

For Your Precious Love...

Two days ago, my wife and I celebrated our 15th year wedding anniversary and a very dear friend of mine expressed how amazing it was that in these times, how rare it was to be in a relationship of any significant amout of time.  She then ask me if I would one day talk about how we made it, while balancing both of our demanding careers.

First and foremost,  I'm not my any means an expert when it comes to relationships. What I do know, is that based on my personal experience, relationships require time, commitment, and the willness to being honest and open to your partner as well as yourself.... ALL DAY, EVERYDAY!!

Looking back, I used to look at relationships the same way I used to value life in general. Wow, was that a big mistake. I constantly created a life filled with headaches and heartaches.  I was simply initiating relationships based solely on a "want".  Just because I was watching others around mingling and giving the appearance of having such a wonderful and exciting time together, didn't necessarily equate to long term or that life of forever after effect you read about in story books.

Of course, I'm not saying that everyone of my, "want" relationships resulted in disaster, but there usually was no tenure experienced and that was because, not long after I "fell" in love, I quickly "fell" out of love. Uummm, I wonder has this ever happen to you and your relationships too?

The key is "growing" in love. The goal is "growing in love together". The result..."PRICELESS".

Anyway, while coming up through the years, I've learned a lot about what I "want" compared to what I really "need".  What I did was honestly, evaluate each of these factors and the sum of which, put me on the right course.

Careers are great to have, but they can also be a hazzard to a relationship if YOU allow them to. Think about it, when was the last time on a cold and dark lonely night, and you're watching this incredible movie or listening to your favorite Barry White tune, and suddenly the thought of sharing this moment of hot and steamy passion with someone.... you picked up the phone and called your selfish, demanding, stressful career, to come over and extinquish your flames?  Ummm, again!

Additionally, sharing with one another is also essential.  Most, excessive career minded individuals tend to really separate their personal life from their professional life. I feel that once you both start separating some of the things in your relationship, it creates an avenue of acceptance to separate not only other things but everything.  To each his or her own, but some people take this process literally; they separate money, cars, children, the house, the food, the bed, the dog and eventually each other. This mindset, I believe sacrifices the partnership... the core of the relationship.   

Careers were invented by man, not by the higher source that I associate with, who like himself is everlasting and loves unconditionally. Let me just say, that in my book, the latter should be the pattern of our love to one another.

So, if your one and only, secret and true love is your career..., you have my heartfelt sympathy.

The choice is rather simple and ultimately always yours.  Like the songs says, It's your thing, do what you want to to do.....

Or,

Like this post title states, "For your precious love, means more to me, than any love could ever be".                 

NOBODY KNOWS...

I believe that everyone would and should agree that 'Life is Good". Of course there are times when it seems as though, we are actually experiencing "Hell right here on earth" conditions.  As well as things could go for us from day to day, life really can throw an unexpected curveball.  Yes, life is good, but its also very short. Have you ever heard the expression,  "Here today and gone today". That's why its so imperitive that those among us who have difficulty sharing ourselves totally and honestly with our love ones on a daily basis, need to make a change.

How many times have you heard about people who've passed away and their family members never had any idea that thay were secretly suffering terminally.  The aftermath of this experience can be so devestating, especially in the case of a failed or missed opportunity to express love to each other.

Then there are those who love the people in there lives so hard, it borders on obsession, but sadly some of these may have partners who find it difficult to reciprocate.

Interestingly, I've heard it through the grapevine, that some individuals would give anything to have their special someone say that they loved them.  "Why couldn't they just tell me"?

Today, millions of people were blessed to see the morning's sunrise. They were blessed to have the shelter of comfort and security surround them; they were blessed to have food on the table and the means to provide for a better and brighter tomorrow.  Yet, for the millions I speak of, there were millions today who failed to tell those special someones within and outside of their households, the three most powerful words any tongue or mouth could utter...."I LOVE YOU".

Sadly, some or all of those millions will not return home this very day.

This is not a message of doom and gloom, nor should it be mistaken for one.  The message is simply a reminder...another opportunity, if we're lucky.

If we ignore the signs, the results could be a resounding chorus of, "I wish, I shoulda, coulda", but then again, "If you did love me...... NOBODY KNOWS"!

LOVING MY PAST

I remember it well.. just as if it was happening all over again.  Its the middle of the week and I'm about 14 or 15 years old. I'm sitting right next to my father, while visiting him during my spring break from school.  As we sat and talked, we somehow managed to start up a conversation about his father, (my grandfather) whom I've never known or ever seen pictures of.  It was like talking about some unknown person who you would see in a dream or some unknown character in a story book.  I was beginning to think that any discussion raised about of my ancestors was taboo, or perhaps it was just that we had never taken advantage of the opportunity to discuss them.

As our talks on the subject became more detailed over those memorable five days, I knew then that they were the most incredible and enjoyable lessons of our personal history I had ever encountered.  In short, I was hooked.  At the end of my stay and before returning back to my home in Miami, we both decided that on my next summer visit with him, I would write down on paper all the events and stories he would share.

Prior to my return the following year......, my father died.

Today, I have a family of my own, consisting of adult children from my first marriage and one teenager from my second time around.  Additonally, I also have one amazing grandson.

Recently, while talking with my teen daughter, about some behavioral changes in her math class, she and I also had some discussion about being grateful for all the things we as a family were blessed to have. I then told her about some of the disadvantages that I grew up with in an effort to make a comparison.

As I began to tell her about growing up in the "ghetto" and such, I suddenly noticed her facial expression and the look of total confusion on her face, as if she was saying, "Dad, what in the hell are you talking about?"

After all, she was born in the suburbs and had only heard about the ghetto via movies, tv, and my abstract way of painting the picture for her.  She literally was encapable of connecting the dots.

Suddenly, like the sound of a rushing and mighty wind; the clanking of large cymbals crashing together, the answer to this issue became apparently clear..... FIELD TRIP!!

We jumped into the car, and I gave her a personal tour of what and where it all began as I remembered it.  We traveled to the hospital where I was born; the diferent areas and houses I grew up and lived in; the schools I attended; as well as the areas and houses her sibblings grew up and shared together. The tour ended back to where life as she was most familiar with began... in the suburbs.

I have since, taken all of my children on this historical tour of my small life. To further enhance their mini- travels back into our families ancestrial past, I also invested in a genealogical program that has helped to fill in all the gaps. The program introduces them to family members, places and events, that would otherwise be presented and recieved by them, much like an unsubstantiated old folks tale.  But, with the help of an online version, I'm able to invite and educate my family members irregardless of where they may reside in the world. 

As I reflect back on the gift my father attemped to shared with me before his death, I truly understand how important it is for families everywhere to build incredible and lasting relationships, even if through the most difficult of times.  Here's what I know...

Don't wait until its to late.. to make a love connection of your own. 

       

Loving Equally

Does he or she really mean it when they say, "I Love You Too".  What are the signs? 

I'm not an expert on Love and relationships but, here's what I've observed and experienced...

While stating the obvious, sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. 

This process is and can be so complicated, yet so very simple. Lets try refusing to focus so much of our driven energies on futile attempts to read each others mind.  I believe our time would be better spent and greater results can be achieved through all the incredible and actively shared time we spend together.  Doing so, redirects the focus to the heart and soul of the matter... The Overwhelming and Blessed Opportunity to "Just Love".

Giving and receiving Love Equally, is much more than what appears to be on the surface. It requires action, honesty, sacrifice, as well as joint and total commitment of all parties involved. 

People understandably, spend a lifetime in Love, but... is that which they've chosen to dedicated their Love to, capable of returning the favor?

Some folk Love with all their hearts, their jobs; houses; land; silver; gold and sometimes too much of themselves. The returns are not only consuming and clouded, but they can be shortlived when searching for long term Love related residuals.

With all the aforementioned lovables that we can attached our existence to, I tend to ask myself the following:

Can I truly rely solely on my job; my bank account etc., to Love me equally when I encounter sickness; dispair; lonliness or become motherless, friendless, homeless or penniless?

Hopefully, its a knowledgable fact, whether through personal experience or not, that reciprocated Love can not and will not survive by force, coerosion or deception. It must be rooted, and produce through mutual respect and most importantly.... EARNED.

MORE THAN JUST ANOTHER NEW YEAR

Today, depending upon which time zone you live in, its New Years Day. If you're not overly excited about this worldwide event, perhaps you should have your blood pressure taken and retaken again.  Across the globe, there were countless numbers of parties and family gatherings taking place.  For this reason, "the new reason", people are more than just excited. They were more than just happy.  They were actually loving themselves and each other.  Its was a space in time, when telephone lines and social networks including the for ever busy internet ceased to function. Traffic and traveling sites were not spared either, as they too were at a standstill. 

Neighborhoods were packed with parked cars and homes filled with joyous celebration. Believer's filled churches, temples and synagogues; praising, praying, waiting and watching for the return of the Almighty.  Babies were being born and sadly, some were dying. Through it all, we were a happy people, destined to shed off the old and put on the new.

Our personal New Year, was by far, "MORE THAN JUST ANOTHER NEW YEAR'.  On this amazing an unforgettable day, we were blessed exceedingly beyond our own expectations, because not only did we have a family gathering in the traditional way at the emergence of 2010, we were witnesses to the marriage and union of our daughter Katrina and our new son and family member Aaron.

 It was a most beautiful and memorable ceremony that human eyes could behold. The wedding took place in the presence of God, right under the moon and the stars above. Although the sky was dark, there appeared to be a warm, loving and romantic glow, that halloed and set upon each of us in attendance. What a loving and darkened morning it was... just moments into the birth of a brand new, New Year and the union of two lives joined together for ever more.      

Oops... Did I Do That?

It seems funny and somewhat puzzling to me, but  when ever I decide on a task, that's deemed important enough for me to do, my family members tell me that I act as though, I'm possessed my some ridiculous spell or some evil demonic creature.  Of course, I tend to disagree with their assessment, because I would call my driven and unrelenting state of mind, as simply being focused. 

I'm not sure why, but its just that whenever I'm undertaking any project, it immediately falls under my personal book of  rules. Rules like this one, which is found in, volume18, chapter 28, verse 17, which states, " Since its my project, I can do it however and whenever I say so".  

Right??? 

Well since you've decided to take the 5th, I'll take your silence as a yes and that you also agree, that I'm right! 

Anyway, today it all started after an incredible breakfast and two cups of caffeine, or maybe it was three.  I walked into our home office and started up the computer. While waiting for the startup, I heard this screeching voice way in the distant downstairs, yelling something about a problem they encountered earlier with the computer.

I did not reply or ask them for clarification, because this would have distracted me from the mission unfolding right in front of me.

Great, no problems encountered with the startup.

The mission I accepted, was to install a new piece of  hardware, which would allow me to project any image from the computer to an external monitor. So, as I'm following along with the provided directions, it says to tap on the FN 8 key.

Sounds easy and no real big deal.... right??

Then why, oh why,  has my entire screen turned blueeeeee..... What the heck is or has gone wrong, and why, oh why, are there multiple error messages everywhere?

The next frantic words out of my mouth was, Oh No... Did I Do That???

As if that wasn't enough punishment. Do you remember, the screeching voice I told you about earlier? Well now she was standing behind me, screeching again and again, while giving me an unsolicited answer, to the question that I thought, I had uttered in total secrecy.  She boldly  stated, "Yes, you did do that and thank GOD, it wasn't me, and you know what else, I think you fried the hard drive too! I told you that you should have waited on the repairman".

Uggh!!!!

Turns out that, instead of tapping the Fn 8 key, I...., I hate to say it, but I.... well, I mistakenly tapped on the Ctrl (control) and #8 key... continuosly. So there,  I confess.

Here's the moral of the story and what I have learned.

If only I had remembered to look in the front portion of my rule book, under, Chapter 1, sectiion 1, verse 1; which states: "Anything worth doing, is worth doing right, the first time".

Oh and by the way, in addition to the above rule, with an astrix attached to it, is this one; Hope you remember the next time,  you knuckle head that..., Haste makes Waste!!  


  

The Devil Made Me Do It

Today, was to be a day of goodwill, calmness, and some personal time to reflect on all of the great things that last week had produced. I sincerely don't mean to complain again, because I'm actually still estactic and somewhat overhelmed with joy, regarding all the limited and shared time with my eldest son, who was home for a week from the navy. With that said, on today..... (scratch that), this entire day in my mind, was to be nothing short of incredible.

The morning started out with a beautiful warm and glowing sunrise. The kind that just takes your breath away. I got dressed and headed out to first and foremost, take care of a major prioity of mine... FINDING FOOD. I've got to have it or no one is safe around me until I get it. I would love to describe the feast for you but....., let's just say it was ridiculously outside of your normal two eggs, bacon, toast and coffee.

Everything was going great until......., well until, he showed up. Yea, thats right, that evil disgusting, no good, dirty, low down......, see that's what I mean. This cruel being will do anything to control you, your thoughts, your words and deeds.... if you let him.  Of course, this time he showed up in the strangest way.  He didn't openly speak to me, but he somehow positioned me so that as I started to get into my car, I found myself focused on the left front tire.  There it was, shining brightly for all to see.  I quietly said to myself, what the heck is that?  Then while examining it closer, I realized that the brightly shining object was in fact a large nail that had embedded itself in my expensive and brand new tire.  At first, I wanted to scream and curse at the nail; then the tire and lastly that evil demon on my shoulder, who of course was urging me to do and say all of the.... !!%**#, wrong things and much more toward the nearest and available ear.

That's when I somehow, shook him off and took a deep and needed breath of O2.  Finally, I felt a little better and made the decision to not remove my punctured and suffering tire at this location, but instead I chose to drive it gentlely to the nearest tire center for the required and unscheduled repair. After realizing that I had handled this situation with the upmost of southern class, I headed home and felt totally convence that I was back in control, of having the sort of day I envisioned earlier.

Thinking back, and while reliving the conversation I had with the tire repair guy, I suddenly began to laugh out loud. He told me, that I needed to relax because this type of thing happens to everybody.  I curiously replied, "Oh really, you don't say".  He firmly said yes, it could even happen to Santa Clause.  Suddenly, my warped sense of humor kicked in and I immediately thought about what that must look like..... ummm.

Gee.. hope Santa has OnStar.




Once I arrived at the house, I went straight upstairs to do some needed work on the home computer.  I was just as busy as a beaver, when I saw this little flashing icon appear, that read... click here for some needed updates. Part of me said ignore it, stay on task, but guess who showed up again, sticking me over and over with that fork thingy, and then he proceeded to force my humble little right index finger, to click the mouse on the update tab.  You're probably thinking by now and asking... "What are you smoking"?  Maybe I should have been...Nahh!!, but there he was, standing right in front of me.  Thats when everything just went crazy. The download turned out wack and obviously not capatible with my present operating system (what ever that is).  It was like I was being transformed into that Dorothy girl who realized that she was not in Kansas anymore, and causing me to shout out words like... "Lions, Tigers and Bears..Oh My!!

Whew!!..., luckily I had the phone number to my computer hero (who lives in another time zone) and a warranty that was still valid. Fortunately for me and after 2 plus hours of patience, reassurance and customer care romancing, I got exactly what I deserved....         

If The Shoe Fits...

Growing up in South Florida, I have had a lot of people watching experience and I've enjoyed every minute of it. There are coutless numbers of tourist here each year. Of course, some stay and some go. Whats interesting though, is how we all sometimes can parallel our customs, lifestyles and behavior to practical all types of things around us. Think about it for a second, have you ever been outside, perhaps at a park and noticed people walking with their pets and how amazingly they have managed to match their pet in some way or another to themselves. Maybe its just me, but I see it all the time.

A few days ago, I was sitting and just people watching and suddenly, I began to focus on the types of shoes they were wearing. Believe me when I say, there were people with big shoes and small shoes. There were white shoes and black shoes, and shoes with different colors. some had stripes and some of them, well I still can't identify.  Anyway, I began to think deeper and this is what I thought......

Each shoe has a name or brand that best descibes what type of shoe it is and what it is capable of providing.

So if I were to parallel shoes and people... ummmm.

Take for instance, this particular shoe, its known in familiar circles as the "Sneaker"

Now the sneaker, is like some people I know. They make you feel secure and comfortable, but true to its name, since they don't make a lot of noise, they'll sneak up on and around you, when you're not looking, then without warning, they'll NAIL you. They kind of remind me of those people who throw rocks and hide their hands.

Now the next shoe by design should tell you right away what kind of personality you're going to get. I mean, if you're looking for a hard working, non-stopping, task oriented, pick em up and lay it down kind of guy, then avoid this one at all cost. They are like your broke brother-in-law, who just sleeps and sleeps on your couch. Ladies beware, this guy is really NOT the perfect mate, especially for a lifetime.  Lets just get on with it and call him what he is.

Introducing the.......... "LOAFER"

Well, lets look at another fellow. Sometimes I think this one and the loafer are related, heck they may even be cousins. I would best describe this personality, compatible to one who is always in the back, always left behind; tends to be a follower rather than stepping up and taking the lead on most anything.  They are sometimes shabby and will talk to you in a dead on pointy, point of view (no pun intended), but  generally they spend a lot of their time frolicing and being totally irresponsible. So if all of this even peeks your curiousity and this is the type you gravitate to, then by all means the "HEEL" is definetly for you.

Hang in there, I'm almost done. This one is easy, they can't hide their identity at all. As soon as you lay eyes on them you know what you're getting. It is what it is and they are who the are. They are indecisive, and sometimes clueless. They don't offer any support, so if you really need dependablity, start looking somewhere else. On a day when you're having a little rain in your life... you're going to get wet!!  If you're needing someone to hold and warm you.. forget it. It's not happening. Today they love you, tonight they don't. So, so...ever so sad but true.

Perhaps this last one is a no brainer. It not perfect, but at least it provides you a lot more than those guys up top. This one is sturdy, strong, durable, reliable and can provide you comfort up hills, mountains and valleys as they spill or come into your life. It's a great supporter and functions well under some of the harshest conditions. They come in various sizes, shapes, colors and texures. They will fortify and reinforce your weaknesses and fight off all who oppose you. Without further a due, if I were you I would look for a partner who posses some of if not all of the qualities of the........ "BOOT".

So in closing, as the titled implies, "If The Shoe Fits.. Wear It!

     

         

What you really mean is.....

Ever wonder why sometimes, after talking with someone, you end up saying to yourself... ummm, I have no clue as to what they really meant by that comment. Its not just happening to you, because it happens to all of us at one time or another. Lets together travel back a little bit in visual time... (drum roll please).

On the floor jumping around, barking and running back and forth toward the front door is our Jack Russell terrier. To my visiting guest at the house, he is just acting weird or excited and just wanted to play. Of course, as this all plays out in mind, my dog is remembering that time to him is becoming a major priority. I had several options available to me, one being to ignore the true signals flashing in front of me or listen to my uninformed guest. My friends are now laughing out loud and saying, "wow what a cute dog, what energy that breed has." I can now see that my dog has lost is humorous side and has this clear expression on his face that says, "You idiot, if only I had the time, I'd show you energy". Anyway, because I have learned through past experience, that this behavior being displayed means something totally different from that of my guest, I immediately took the correct and appropriate action and let man's best friend do his thing.





Now let's travel to say, your favorite mall, and suddenly you realize that there's some new construction to the roadway and to some of the buildings within the mall parking lot going on. Just up a head is a uniformed police officer directing traffic around the construction site, but for some reason the traffic flow has stopped. You are close enough to hear an elderly couple asking the officer for directions to the mall. Of course you find this somewhat strange because they are actually in and at the mall. As the conversation continues, the officer who is now standing erect, and pointing upward, adjusts his dark mirrored colored sunglasses and replies to her question in a firm voice saying, "Lady, can you read the sign!!" The woman is now so upset and panicky, that she tells the officer's supervisor that she was disrespected, yelled at and called stupid, blind, old and the list goes on and on. Although you never heard the officer used those terms, its conceivable that from her perspective all those things actually occurred.


Finally, I'm sure this has never happen...right?

You're home having an incredible day off and spending some time with your significant other. There's time spent laughing about the weeks craziness, and the interesting things on the tv. Your significant other, states that suddenly she's bored and wants to go shopping and further more wants you to give up the couch and tv and accompany her to the stores. You pause, take a deep breath and image feeling the despair and burning sensation rumbling around in the pit of your gut. Then you see yourself, going from peace and tranquility to noise, traffic, people, walking from store to store and more noise, awwwww!! S0, you stand up, look her straight in the eyes, and with a pointing finger, you say, "Look, I love you very much and I'm willing to do that, but not today, now tell me you're listening and you love me too and that you understand?"

Her response is pictured above.

In all of these cases there is obviously a teachable moment. Communication whether spoken or not has meaning. The hardest part may lie in our recognition of how we deal with what we personally interpret as a true meaning. Each and every word we utter has a meaning. Sometimes people don't or can't always filter through their own issues i.e. drugs; anxiety; fear, etc., at the time to adequately decode our message to them. It's YOUR responsibility to ensure they properly understand the message.

On the other hand, if you're the receiver of the message, try paraphrasing back the message you've received. Perhaps saying, " So what I understand you to mean is..". This is just one of the many resolutions to avoid a total misunderstanding. The next element to making the conversation positive is to learn how to RESPOND to a statement verses REACTING to it. Trust me there is a distinct difference, because YOUR delivery style does matters.

From the receivers perspective:

The majority of conversation taken in is in the TONE;

Next, OTHER NON-VERBALS, are taken in at a high percent;

Lastly, the remaining and least values are placed on CONTENT

Ensure that all your verbals and non-verbals match and remember...

Always leave a person feeling better than when you first encountered them.

RELENTLESS EXPLORER

It all started with the observation of your birth. As magnificent as all human births are, you were extraordinary from the first breath. There was the time at the tender age before two, when it became apparent to all, that it would become a daily challenge to go on multiple explorations of familiar and unfamiliar experiences with you, whether we wanted to or not. The trick was for us to finding new ways to direct and focus all that energy. I recall what I personally called, "The episode of a simple playpen". This contraption was manufactured specifically to keep little people, in an always safe and secure environment..... not to mention the fact, that I needed a breather. Amazingly it took little time for you to problem solve and act upon a solution to defeat your squared confinement. So we decided to literally turn your world upside down, by inverting this squared circle of well spent money. It was then, that I knew that you were capable of moving beyond perceived barriers and had the tools available to take full advantage of the gifts you were blessed with. Your response to our so called adult rationale, of presenting new puzzles for you, amazingly overwhelmed our attempts, by your ability to adapt.

Nothing has changed much in your approach to life problems involving the places, people and things you've encountered on your journey.

Today, you are a proud and outstanding soldier in the United States Navy. A respected leader who has traveled, seen and experienced things that most of us, have only read about in books and will spend a lifetime seeking, but sometimes fall short of finding.

For you are my eldest son , in whom I too am well pleased.

We, your family and friends are proud to have been given the opportunity to witness first hand how truly blessed we are to have you in our existence.

Thank you for being the role model and example to your own children and each of your siblings. Supplying them all with a positive road map, that defines the meaning of what hard work and faith in ones self will produce and the incredible results of dreaming big dreams; remaining humble and being forever thankful to the ONE and only...... Our Creator.

MISSY

Remembering the years before today....., those times of wishing and waiting; The times of anxious anxiety of longing for just a glimpse of your image, your face, your smile, your warm embrace. The times of emptiness deeply felt, when just the mere thought of not being near you brought feelings of great sorrow. Sorrow so immense, its measured and comparable only to the vast and endless part of a space without light. Missing any moment with you, created an undesirable element of forsakeness, filled with loneliness.

Although a place dark and warm; dreaming of you, as I know you dreamed of me, offered a sense of refuge; a place never permitting despair; when true to your word, you waited for me, saving a place for me in your heart.

If the day comes when you miss me.. think inner deeply of me; trusting and knowing that I will always return to you.

If in the history of our love, we're invaded or become under attack... I promise to protect you with honor and my last breath, even..... with my life.

My prayer is that you will forever have the vision and wisdom to know that an avenue has been made available to and for you only... there in that place and time.. there and only there can you seek and shall truly find....

Forever and Always ......A place for you in my heart.

Still Sparkling

Last night, we were invited guest to one of the most amazing events that will stay with me for a very very long time. Actually, I probably should give more expressive power to a word, I used in the previous sentence. For you see my friends, it was not just any old "event". The experience was more than that. The experience last night was more reflective of a term I believe, would be more defined, to me as a 'Life Changing" event.

Last night, an incredible couple, who's first names are Happy and Elyse, celebrated 30 years of marriage to each other. Some might say, "that's nice" or "Really" or "WOW!", but even those terms won't give justice to the heart felt feelings of LOVE, that permeated that romantic and elegantly decorated banquet hall.

I have only known this couple for a short time. Although, I must admit that I would have loved the opportunity to have known them sooner. They are a very loving couple, who observably are very wealthy in the respect that, they are not over concerned with placing the focus or spotlight on themselves alone. I believe they are in touch with what it means to share. Its very apparent that they are deeply focused and immersed in the fact that they truly love each other unconditionally. Then they take it a step further and they spread their magical wealth to all of the members of their family, as well as their friends too.

Obviously, they deserve and should be commended for these attributes, because it's also vividly displayed in the personalities and actions of their children as well. When people use the expression, "The nut doesn't fall far from the tree". I see and understand exactly what that expression means, especially when you watch their children interact with people around them. I guess we can agree that, being a good example, really does pay off.

I first met Happy and Elyse, through two of my family members, Cheryle and Barclay, who rarely if ever, hosts a social gathering at their home without them being in attendance. Thank You, guys.

Personally, I'd like to think of myself as just a person who loves people. Although, my friends have sometimes classified me as a social butterfly. All of these statements are true and are definitely rooted in my passion, to just observe other people being themselves. I love watching the interaction between others and the methods they use, whether its verbal or non verbal. I especially focus in on the techniques they use when problem solving, or how they seem to navigate when filtering through some of the challenges faced in this life. So it would be factual to say, that last night I was very much in my comfort zone, observing this wonderful couple.

A RELATIONSHIP is defined as an emotional connection and mutual dealings between people; PASSION is defined as having an intense emotion for..; and LOVE is defined as having a strong positive emotion for.., so if I had the pleasure of rewriting the dictionary, I would appropriately place a picture of Happy and Elyse right next to these words. PERIOD!!

This life has so many snares, twist and turns, its amazing to me they are still very much in LOVE and even still TOGETHER. There are so many ungrateful people around us, who take all of life blessings for granted. Those are the people who have accepted the term "fall" in Love, without gaining its full meaning. Their expressed Love for each one another is sometimes regrettably surface oriented, which will never stand the test of time. I'm not an expert or the Love Doctor on this topic, but it seems to me if examined closely, it stands to reason why so many who "fall" in Love, can easily "fall" out of Love. I believe it takes much more than just "falling", it takes one to GROW in Love. I think this is exhibited in the marital life of this special couple and what they've accomplished together.

If you asked them, they would probably tell you that they've spent their efforts; commitment; and joy together in the JOURNEY and not just in the mere DESTINATION. They didn't quit.

So many people today give up as fast as they begin. In other words, they quit at any and everything they do. They quit their jobs, their relationships, and some even quit on themselves. They want it right now, and they could care less about earning it. Many people start, but few people finish.

I know Happy and Elyse are not perfect people, nor would they have you to believe that they are either. So... If any of you, are fortunate enough to have family; friends or acquaintances, who resemble this couple in anyway, please be very very thankful for this God sent blessing, and then I suggest you begin to enrich your own relationships with one another, by merely sitting back and observing their commitment to unconditional LOVE.

Congratulations!! Happy and Elyse

Honey Do Lists

I don't know about you, but just in case you've never had the privilege of having countless numbers of domestic tasks, assigned to you by your spouse or significant other, stick around you could be next. It's not as though, I really lay around all day on the couch, flicking the remote, but it's something that I'm seriously going to look into very, very soon.

This was supposed to be one of those take it easy and chill out days... NOT!!

My youngest daughter is out of school for the summer, so we started our day together going out to eat breakfast, at one of her favorite Cuban restaurant. We were engaged in heavenly daddy/daughter talk, which covered various topics concerning her and the past school year. We were really having a great time. As our conversation turned to discusssing her participation, in this years basketball season, my previously scheduled iPhone reminder began to ring. Of course, I decided to ignore it, because if you've read a few of my previous blog post, you know that I'm on a serious mission to improve and eliminate my 'Quantity" time spent with the family and replace it with more 'Quality" time.

Thirty minutes rapidly went by, and guess what? That darn thing started up again. Ringgggg!! Oh God, now what? Well, angrily my daughter and the people sitting near us began to visually let me know, that the noise coming from the gadget on my hip, was beginning to get on their nerves. I would have reciprocated with a stare down of my own, but I remembered that I was the genius who had set the phone for multiple alert notifications. DUH..

If that wasn't enough, my lovely and task oriented wife, began to call also. I know what you're thinking, and you're right, I obediently answered and she began to remind me of all the things she wanted me to get done. Things like, how wonderful it would be for me to volunteer, yes she said, "volunteer".... to fix dinner. It wasn't that big of a deal, except that it requires me to proceed to the nearest Publix and then pace up and down the different aisles, and then eventually, fill up the cart with more items than I was requested to get.

What's great, is that once you're done and ready to leave the store, there are generally at least 6 or more checkout lanes. Yeah!

Hold it, you've got to be kidding me; of the 6 or more available lanes, there is only 2 that are open, and the one that says EXPRESS, has a line long enough to hang you. Next on my 'honey do" list was the cleaners; Walgreen's; the GMC dealership; and finally the bank.

I have discovered a new passion. A passion strong enough to motivate me to seek an assignment (part-time, of course), within the county's CSI unit and come up with a sophisticated counter system; or formula; or a prescription or a simple antidote, that can be utilized by victims like myself, that will cure and fight mightily against these types of afflictions.

I don't know if it will work, because I have not developed it yet. But, when I do and I test my new theory, I can probably guarantee you that, it will definitely create some interesting dialog, if you know what I mean.