What you really mean is.....

Ever wonder why sometimes, after talking with someone, you end up saying to yourself... ummm, I have no clue as to what they really meant by that comment. Its not just happening to you, because it happens to all of us at one time or another. Lets together travel back a little bit in visual time... (drum roll please).

On the floor jumping around, barking and running back and forth toward the front door is our Jack Russell terrier. To my visiting guest at the house, he is just acting weird or excited and just wanted to play. Of course, as this all plays out in mind, my dog is remembering that time to him is becoming a major priority. I had several options available to me, one being to ignore the true signals flashing in front of me or listen to my uninformed guest. My friends are now laughing out loud and saying, "wow what a cute dog, what energy that breed has." I can now see that my dog has lost is humorous side and has this clear expression on his face that says, "You idiot, if only I had the time, I'd show you energy". Anyway, because I have learned through past experience, that this behavior being displayed means something totally different from that of my guest, I immediately took the correct and appropriate action and let man's best friend do his thing.





Now let's travel to say, your favorite mall, and suddenly you realize that there's some new construction to the roadway and to some of the buildings within the mall parking lot going on. Just up a head is a uniformed police officer directing traffic around the construction site, but for some reason the traffic flow has stopped. You are close enough to hear an elderly couple asking the officer for directions to the mall. Of course you find this somewhat strange because they are actually in and at the mall. As the conversation continues, the officer who is now standing erect, and pointing upward, adjusts his dark mirrored colored sunglasses and replies to her question in a firm voice saying, "Lady, can you read the sign!!" The woman is now so upset and panicky, that she tells the officer's supervisor that she was disrespected, yelled at and called stupid, blind, old and the list goes on and on. Although you never heard the officer used those terms, its conceivable that from her perspective all those things actually occurred.


Finally, I'm sure this has never happen...right?

You're home having an incredible day off and spending some time with your significant other. There's time spent laughing about the weeks craziness, and the interesting things on the tv. Your significant other, states that suddenly she's bored and wants to go shopping and further more wants you to give up the couch and tv and accompany her to the stores. You pause, take a deep breath and image feeling the despair and burning sensation rumbling around in the pit of your gut. Then you see yourself, going from peace and tranquility to noise, traffic, people, walking from store to store and more noise, awwwww!! S0, you stand up, look her straight in the eyes, and with a pointing finger, you say, "Look, I love you very much and I'm willing to do that, but not today, now tell me you're listening and you love me too and that you understand?"

Her response is pictured above.

In all of these cases there is obviously a teachable moment. Communication whether spoken or not has meaning. The hardest part may lie in our recognition of how we deal with what we personally interpret as a true meaning. Each and every word we utter has a meaning. Sometimes people don't or can't always filter through their own issues i.e. drugs; anxiety; fear, etc., at the time to adequately decode our message to them. It's YOUR responsibility to ensure they properly understand the message.

On the other hand, if you're the receiver of the message, try paraphrasing back the message you've received. Perhaps saying, " So what I understand you to mean is..". This is just one of the many resolutions to avoid a total misunderstanding. The next element to making the conversation positive is to learn how to RESPOND to a statement verses REACTING to it. Trust me there is a distinct difference, because YOUR delivery style does matters.

From the receivers perspective:

The majority of conversation taken in is in the TONE;

Next, OTHER NON-VERBALS, are taken in at a high percent;

Lastly, the remaining and least values are placed on CONTENT

Ensure that all your verbals and non-verbals match and remember...

Always leave a person feeling better than when you first encountered them.

The Great Escape

Several days, weeks and months have come and gone since the New Year, along with some of the incredible times of just laying out, soaking up some rays and not having to worry about getting anything done. As with any new beginning, everyone and everything should have made a few new adaptations and changes. Sounds easy, but for many, its a struggle that's big enough to choke a pink elephant.

We all sometimes make resolutions and promises that are not always fulfilled or well planned out.

The list varies from losing weight to work issues to relationships and so on. Either way, the biggest error lies in our attempts to resolve all of the aforementioned and much more at the same time or believing it will magically all just disappear if we put off for another day.

So for simplicity we'll call it the results of "PROCRASTINATED CLUTTER".

Pretty much countless numbers of us have fallen prey to this trap, but over the years I've learn that although I multi-task relatively well, sometimes I too get bogged down and feel overwhelmed or defeated with the endless list of things to do.

The first key to finding a solution is recognition, coupled with the fact of accepting that there's only so many hours in a day. Then put some perspective to the mix and finally we have to... quite frankly, be willing to do something about it.

Maybe it means stopping and putting things down and finding a relaxing get away, provided you don't incur the extra added stress of spending money you don't have....Bummer!!

Try Conquering your daily CLUTTER's by either..

Acting on them

Referring them

Filing them

Or just Simply,

Trashing them.....

Try these, maybe they'll make your burdens just a little bit lighter... HALLELUJAH!!!

RELENTLESS EXPLORER

It all started with the observation of your birth. As magnificent as all human births are, you were extraordinary from the first breath. There was the time at the tender age before two, when it became apparent to all, that it would become a daily challenge to go on multiple explorations of familiar and unfamiliar experiences with you, whether we wanted to or not. The trick was for us to finding new ways to direct and focus all that energy. I recall what I personally called, "The episode of a simple playpen". This contraption was manufactured specifically to keep little people, in an always safe and secure environment..... not to mention the fact, that I needed a breather. Amazingly it took little time for you to problem solve and act upon a solution to defeat your squared confinement. So we decided to literally turn your world upside down, by inverting this squared circle of well spent money. It was then, that I knew that you were capable of moving beyond perceived barriers and had the tools available to take full advantage of the gifts you were blessed with. Your response to our so called adult rationale, of presenting new puzzles for you, amazingly overwhelmed our attempts, by your ability to adapt.

Nothing has changed much in your approach to life problems involving the places, people and things you've encountered on your journey.

Today, you are a proud and outstanding soldier in the United States Navy. A respected leader who has traveled, seen and experienced things that most of us, have only read about in books and will spend a lifetime seeking, but sometimes fall short of finding.

For you are my eldest son , in whom I too am well pleased.

We, your family and friends are proud to have been given the opportunity to witness first hand how truly blessed we are to have you in our existence.

Thank you for being the role model and example to your own children and each of your siblings. Supplying them all with a positive road map, that defines the meaning of what hard work and faith in ones self will produce and the incredible results of dreaming big dreams; remaining humble and being forever thankful to the ONE and only...... Our Creator.

MISSY

Remembering the years before today....., those times of wishing and waiting; The times of anxious anxiety of longing for just a glimpse of your image, your face, your smile, your warm embrace. The times of emptiness deeply felt, when just the mere thought of not being near you brought feelings of great sorrow. Sorrow so immense, its measured and comparable only to the vast and endless part of a space without light. Missing any moment with you, created an undesirable element of forsakeness, filled with loneliness.

Although a place dark and warm; dreaming of you, as I know you dreamed of me, offered a sense of refuge; a place never permitting despair; when true to your word, you waited for me, saving a place for me in your heart.

If the day comes when you miss me.. think inner deeply of me; trusting and knowing that I will always return to you.

If in the history of our love, we're invaded or become under attack... I promise to protect you with honor and my last breath, even..... with my life.

My prayer is that you will forever have the vision and wisdom to know that an avenue has been made available to and for you only... there in that place and time.. there and only there can you seek and shall truly find....

Forever and Always ......A place for you in my heart.