Not Just Any Ole' Chicken

Call it "Wild, Crazy, Stunning and down right Outrageous", but we're not just talkin' about browning any little ole' birdie here. This is my special tale about a bird that had all the reasons available in this world to believe, they would have a carefree life, and most importantly never become the mistake, of ending up on my dinner table. This is how it all happened.

One Day, not to long ago, I was encouraged or should I say challenged, to take my "Grill Master's skill to the next level. Although I've endured many grilling stories told by some of the best grillers I know, it was now my turn perfect the art of cooking chicken on the grill.

Growing up in the south, I became a true fan of what my family affectionately called the "Gospel Bird". That title was offered because thats what most southern families were accustomed to eating on not one, but practically on every single Sunday, after church services. We had it, fried broiled, boiled, baked, stuffed, dressed up, cut up..whew!! you name it, they cooked it and I ate it. It wasn't until I grew up and older, that I eventually learned to enjoy that featherless non-clucking wonder grilled.

Of course, like with any and most things in life, there is a process and everyone has their own little twist to its perfected prescription.

Keep on TRUCKIN'

As I lay in bed resting today, my mind wondered back on a recent business trip. My thoughts were not so much about the long and seemingly endless terrain, surrounded on both sides by various plants and tall trees. I was also dealing with the on and on miles of the tarred asphalt roadway, which appeared to at any moment would burst into huge glowing flames, ignited by the heated rays of the sun above. Either way, I did not despair, because I would just choose to lose myself in thoughts about how incredibly beautiful it all was.

This road trip probably would have seemed shorter provided I knew exactly where I was going. I mean, heck I had a written map and my handy GPS system, but with all of those conveniences, for some reason part of my focused thoughts would get penetrated by that demon called "FEAR". Not the panicky type or the type that brings about total mental shut down, but the one that seeps and oozes its other demon cousin, called doubt.

Oh crap!! then it happen. I missed my exit.

It didn't help a whole lot that I was also moving along at a.... lets just say that, red and blue flashing lights to the rear of me would have been justified and warranted. Now that my exit (state rd 82) was in the far and distant past, I kept in mind that I did have options.

Option #1; Yell loudly with excessive repetition this phrase... !%^**!*#

Option#2; STOP, TURN AROUND and GO BACK

Option#3; Repeat option#1, as you proceed to carryout option#2

OR

Remember that this trips consequences was no different in how I've succeeded in other life missions before. So, I just simply implemented the following belief system:

Should I ever miss or bypass an OPPORTUNITY... never turn around and go back. Keep going on and moving forward; it will always take you to where you need to be.

* Ask any trucker!

The Prediction

A few days ago while dining out and waiting for the server to take my order, I became infatuated with all the noise and chattering going on around me. As I subconsciously summoned the fine tuning knob of my audio and visual skill levels, it somehow managed to exclude all the single party customers in the room. Of course that left me with only the couples, which was not a bad thing because, there were couples of all sizes, shapes, and cultural backgrounds. I saw couples who were talking so much, they were actually flapping their lips at the same time. Then there were some who merely just stared at each other; some who held hands; some old and some young; some who laughed together and even some who actually ignored each other. Either way it was a rather interesting event to observe.

In Contrast, I'm sure there had to be some other bright intelligent observer(s) in the room who were also caught up in conducting their own people watching experiment, but only focusing on the single parties, which of course would include yours truly.

So what is the glue that will hold it all together? How does one stay true to the other over time?

Yes, the obvious answer is LOVE. But, is there something more?

Lots of people I know, have offered a universe full of thoughts and prescriptions for staying together through thick and thin or the ultimate.. until death do us part.

Suddenly, the waitress appeared and broke my trance like state of mind. I shared with her my vision and we agreed on the following:

Couples have to see their lives together ultimately from a long range perspective. Starting and applying the same skills you would when planning objectives and setting goals. For example, setting mini; maxi goals ect.

In comparison, remember what it was like the first time you started dating....

The short answer is those dates were absolutely INCREDIBLE!!

Later at some point you started seeing yourselves as husbands and wives. Then finally came the visions of having kids and making the union a family.

Enter problem numeral UNO.....

By that I mean, should you Forget, drop or forsake these lovely principles, by excluding them out of the equation, the results could become a life-changing mistake.

My advise from the onset is to NEVER stop dating each other. If its humanly possible, keep planning and having those date nights/weekends etc.

WARNING: Discontinuation of the below could be hazardous to your overall relationship's health (physically, morally, spiritually and financially).

1st. Be a LOVER

2nd. Be a WIFE/HUSBAND

3rd. Be a FATHER/MOTHER

What you really mean is.....

Ever wonder why sometimes, after talking with someone, you end up saying to yourself... ummm, I have no clue as to what they really meant by that comment. Its not just happening to you, because it happens to all of us at one time or another. Lets together travel back a little bit in visual time... (drum roll please).

On the floor jumping around, barking and running back and forth toward the front door is our Jack Russell terrier. To my visiting guest at the house, he is just acting weird or excited and just wanted to play. Of course, as this all plays out in mind, my dog is remembering that time to him is becoming a major priority. I had several options available to me, one being to ignore the true signals flashing in front of me or listen to my uninformed guest. My friends are now laughing out loud and saying, "wow what a cute dog, what energy that breed has." I can now see that my dog has lost is humorous side and has this clear expression on his face that says, "You idiot, if only I had the time, I'd show you energy". Anyway, because I have learned through past experience, that this behavior being displayed means something totally different from that of my guest, I immediately took the correct and appropriate action and let man's best friend do his thing.





Now let's travel to say, your favorite mall, and suddenly you realize that there's some new construction to the roadway and to some of the buildings within the mall parking lot going on. Just up a head is a uniformed police officer directing traffic around the construction site, but for some reason the traffic flow has stopped. You are close enough to hear an elderly couple asking the officer for directions to the mall. Of course you find this somewhat strange because they are actually in and at the mall. As the conversation continues, the officer who is now standing erect, and pointing upward, adjusts his dark mirrored colored sunglasses and replies to her question in a firm voice saying, "Lady, can you read the sign!!" The woman is now so upset and panicky, that she tells the officer's supervisor that she was disrespected, yelled at and called stupid, blind, old and the list goes on and on. Although you never heard the officer used those terms, its conceivable that from her perspective all those things actually occurred.


Finally, I'm sure this has never happen...right?

You're home having an incredible day off and spending some time with your significant other. There's time spent laughing about the weeks craziness, and the interesting things on the tv. Your significant other, states that suddenly she's bored and wants to go shopping and further more wants you to give up the couch and tv and accompany her to the stores. You pause, take a deep breath and image feeling the despair and burning sensation rumbling around in the pit of your gut. Then you see yourself, going from peace and tranquility to noise, traffic, people, walking from store to store and more noise, awwwww!! S0, you stand up, look her straight in the eyes, and with a pointing finger, you say, "Look, I love you very much and I'm willing to do that, but not today, now tell me you're listening and you love me too and that you understand?"

Her response is pictured above.

In all of these cases there is obviously a teachable moment. Communication whether spoken or not has meaning. The hardest part may lie in our recognition of how we deal with what we personally interpret as a true meaning. Each and every word we utter has a meaning. Sometimes people don't or can't always filter through their own issues i.e. drugs; anxiety; fear, etc., at the time to adequately decode our message to them. It's YOUR responsibility to ensure they properly understand the message.

On the other hand, if you're the receiver of the message, try paraphrasing back the message you've received. Perhaps saying, " So what I understand you to mean is..". This is just one of the many resolutions to avoid a total misunderstanding. The next element to making the conversation positive is to learn how to RESPOND to a statement verses REACTING to it. Trust me there is a distinct difference, because YOUR delivery style does matters.

From the receivers perspective:

The majority of conversation taken in is in the TONE;

Next, OTHER NON-VERBALS, are taken in at a high percent;

Lastly, the remaining and least values are placed on CONTENT

Ensure that all your verbals and non-verbals match and remember...

Always leave a person feeling better than when you first encountered them.